She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
