Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
