At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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