I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
