Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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