you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
