his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
