You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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