I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
