ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He felt like a one man threesome
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
