This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
