he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
