I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
