That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
