You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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