I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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