what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize