My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Farmville is her only friend.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just invented taco cereal.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
wow bdsm is so cute
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize