After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
