You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
