I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
