who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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