He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I need a beard to bite.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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