why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
