How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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