WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
