Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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