I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
