Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize