you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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