Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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