Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize