i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
