thus making me awesome and them whores
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
ttyl tear gas
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
