She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
