I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
