How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
