i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
