Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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