So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
