And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
