? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
