I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
