"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
