butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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