What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
