Is it normal to miss your booty call?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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