ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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