Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
