Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
