Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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