I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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