Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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