toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Screwed.edu
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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