WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize
