I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize