once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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