Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
