I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Everclear isn't food dammit
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
