epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm sobbing to NWA
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
