It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
