Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(907): View more from Alaska

so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do

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(651): View more from Minnesota

That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.

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(330): View more from Ohio

After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?

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(949): View more from California

What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?

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(219): View more from Indiana

are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?

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(301): View more from Maryland

we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck

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