It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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