You made me cry and you don't even care
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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