ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
did i walk over a car last night?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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