You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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