Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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