WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Your cock deserves a montage
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
