everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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