We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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