Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
