last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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