she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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